So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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