8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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