I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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