That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
