He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
