I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize