1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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