69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
