There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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