There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
