i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
