fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
