But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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