Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
