dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
