how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
