i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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