we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
