I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
