This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you still have your period?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
