D3 body, D1 cock
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My balls are so social today.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
