whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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