i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
