i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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