well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
