i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
