Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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