She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
