I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize