bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
