are you still at the devil's house?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There's always time for handjobs
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
