i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
