Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
