She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
