i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
