We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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