She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
