you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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