hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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