Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
