I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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