moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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