Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
