Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
