I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize