Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
