How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize