dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
