Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's rum buckets o'clock
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
