??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
