Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
