At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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