just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
