He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
MIDGETS
????
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
