She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
