bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
