you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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