I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
