allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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